Presidents Day is here, a day when we reflect on the great leaders elected to the highest office in the United States. It’s a fine time to educate young minds about the contributions of various Presidents in U.S. history and see who can rattle off all 45 in a row without pause.
Naming all 45 in a row might be a tall task for those in the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins who aren’t named Barry Goers, but today got us thinking: What U.S. Presidents are most like certain Penguins?
It’s a silly question, but one we were happy to map out for a handful of Penguins players.
Tom Sestito is Dwight D. Eisenhower
Eisenhower, the 34th President of the United States, was a five-star general in the United States Army during World War II and was elected with a campaign that ensured the U.S. would be tough on its enemies overseas. Sestito is as tough as they come and gives little leniency to those who he feels has wronged his teammates. Eisenhower also started the United States’ first government space program, NASA, which is where Sestito tries to launch his opponents when he connects on a big hit.
Ryan Haggerty is Theodore Roosevelt
The 26th President was by far the country’s most active outdoors man. Roosevelt would ride horses and hunt in the great plains of North Dakota, and famously flew over to Africa for safari excursions following his time in the Oval Office. Haggerty doesn’t mind a good hunt, and considers fishing his favorite hobby. If there’s a Penguins you’re most likely to find outdoors after a day at the rink, it’s Haggerty.
Wait, did you think we’d assign Teddy Blueger as the best comparable for Teddy Roosevelt? Because they have the same name? That’s just lazy. This is serious content, give us more credit than that.
Garrett Wilson is Woodrow Wilson
They have the same name.
Christian Hilbrich is Abraham Lincoln
The penny man is widely considered to be the greatest President of all-time for his lasting contributions to society today and guiding the country through a tumultuous time of Civil War. Lincoln was also the tallest President ever, standing at six-foot-four (plus add a few inches for the hat). The tallest Penguin is Hilbrich, who towers over everyone at six-foot-seven.
Casey DeSmith is John Tyler
President Tyler was Vice President Tyler for a month before being thrust into the role of leader of the free world. The sudden death of William Henry Harrison due to illness meant that Tyler became the 10th President of the Unites States. DeSmith was the third-string goalie for the Wheeling Nailers last season, when injuries and call-ups to Pittsburgh led to the first-year pro taking over the net for Wilkes-Barre/Scranton at the end of the regular season and into the Calder Cup Playoffs. DeSmith performed lights out for the Penguins, and even set the franchise record for saves in a playoff game (59).
Tyler wasn’t just a placeholder President, either, despite his unexpected path to power. He helped lead the United States’ westward expansion, laying the groundwork for the annexation of Texas. DeSmith has proven he was more than just a temporary fix in net, too, but following up his playoff performance from last year with a solid season this year, further bolstering the Penguins organization’s depth at the goaltending position.
Tristan Jarry is Herbert Hoover
Speaking of goalies, this match is more of a symbolic one for Hoover’s most iconic accomplishment rather than shared personality traits.
Hoover approved the construction of the Hoover Dam. Jarry is the blockade that prevents an overflow of offense for the Penguins’ opponents. He’s the No. 1 goalie for Wilkes-Barre/Scranton and made the AHL All-Star Classic this year. It makes sense, right?
Tom Kostopoulos is George Washington
A leader of the colonies during its rebellion, a leader of the United States in the Revolutionary War, and first leader of the country after it established its independence from Great Britain, Washington’s name has become synonymous with “leadership”. That makes his parallel as Kostopoulos the easiest choice yet (even easier than Wilson). Kostopoulos has served as captain of the Penguins for six seasons, and has been with the club since its inception in 1999.
Steve Oleksy is Alexander Hamilton
We know, we know, Hamilton was never President of the United States. But if anyone on the Penguins is going to have a rapping musical made about their life, it’s going to be Oleksy.